Welcome to the Casino

Understand that the tardfi boys are shuffling more 0-DTE (zero days to expiry) options than ever before. We are a society of gamblers. Embrace it.

Demographics are destiny. The cooked TikTok brain makes the idea of working long and hard for something practically untenable, forcing more and more into moonshot positioning.

The whole world is more like a casino with each passing day. Lean into it.

Hello you little fuckers. We are doing some serious gambling today. Tell your wife you’re about to spend it all in the bookies, and there ain’t a thing she can do about it. Without further ado, a look into the world of on-chain speculation and the fastest way known to man to lose all your shekels.

Paying Homage to the King: Pump.fun

‘Pump.fun is extractive. It’s bad for the space bro.’ Can it. Can’t make an omelet without cracking a few eggs, and the beautiful thing about free markets is they accurately reflect the desires of participants- leave the wishy-washy moral posturing at the door bruv.

Judging by the $252 million in annualized revenue, people absolutely love slinging shitters with no hope of winning.

The data is fucking nuts broskis. No two ways about it. Look at the numbers since March 1st:

$107 million in fees (basically 700,000 SOL)

1.95 million new tokens launched

2.79 million wallets that have gambled

On average, 300,000 tokens a month are coming out of this cesspit. Think what you want. But the work rate is there.

Pump.fun Summarized

You open up a horrible UX and get bombarded by the most recent shitter churned out by a village of overworked devs. The screen is aids, and you inevitably lose money. Welcome to the casino.

Buying a ticker on Pump.fun summarized

You find an image that looks good. Maybe you laugh, and you tell yourself, ‘This one is a heater.’ You’re gassing in the comments; it might even start ripping. And you’re sat there, full mast, thinking you’ve made it.

It gets close to graduation ($69,000 market cap), and then the dev rains down a wall of sell orders that blot out the sun and ruin your dreams of retiring off smoking techno duck. And the cycle repeats.

Is Pump.fun extractive?

Is the team yeeting millions in SOL that will most likely never return to crypto markets? Yep.

Are the odds perma-stacked against you, and are your chances of winning close to zero? Yep.

Has the team provided a service so good that people are willing to play regardless? Yep.

Not glorifying this take, but this does give a good flavor of the current sentiment. People are mad and resorting to anti-semitic comments.

There is truth in the statement that markets are better (we make more money) when liquidity is concentrated versus disparate, and altcoin’s performance to date this cycle is proof of this. Pump.fun is one of this cycle’s chief liquidity splitters.

In short, yes, Pump.fun is extractive and is fragmenting liquidity across millions of shitters. But markets do what markets do, and Pump.fun has better PMF than 99% of altcoins.

Pump.fun cast a glaring spotlight on the desire to gamble on low-caps and churn out shitcoins. Speculation is the use case. Other teams have honed in on this signal and launched copycat iterations but with better rails for users.

Look at Moonshot by Dexscreener. The recent partnership with Meteora (dynamic liquidity protocol) allows users to earn lifetime fees on locked liquidity, which slants the incentives toward creating projects that thrive long-term.

How? It attached creators’ financial destiny to trading volume. Instead of incentivizing devs to churn out millions of shitters and rug them, now they can continue to earn shekels by putting effort into a single project.

All subsequent iterations are adjusting the vig for users, and we are watching a financial game evolve in real-time. It is a bloody marvelous thing.

People will say you have better odds of winning in the casino. They are fundamentally missing the point. Trading in the trenches is more fun.

Defending Pump.fun

Look at the bigger picture. Every single iteration brings us closer to the speculative app that will be a banger with genuine normie-friendly PMG. Pango fully supports speedrunning this shit.

More iterations, more progress. Also, removing barriers and controls as to who can create money is fundamentally what crypto is all about.

Best Pump.fun cooks

Several bangers have come from Pump.fun, but at the cost of millions of tokens and broken dreams. Most shocking was how effective of a tool it is for turning social clout into cold, hard, spendable shekels.

Iggy Azalea turned her rump and millions of followers into a tradable financial asset that actually reached $244 million at the pico top. Now trading at $57 million. Kek.

Not even throwing shade because this is the fate awaiting almost every single memecoin. Except for our lord and savior Popcat and anything else that I buy- note the onset of delusion in anybody who trades memes.

Dream bigger

Pango is willing to bet that if Pump.fun created a token that had a revenue-sharing feature it would mog the entire market. There would be a widespread outbreak of whiplash on CT as people’s opinions u-turned faster than cheap Chinese cigarettes burn in high winds.

Raw dogging it on Pump.fun is for fucking psychos, man, which segues beautifully into the next section.

BullX

Forewarning: the BullX wallet is pure Mongolian hun-style pillaging on fees. Just use the dash to find the best tickers and bid on Jup.

Insider tip. Find tokens about to graduate, ideally $15,000-$20,000 mc, and then turbo dump them as they approach $50,000. Embrace your inner jeet- become what you hate most in the world. Actually, not a bad strat if you are operating with low initial capital and are happy to absolutely ruin somebody’s day.

But BullX is precisely what it looks like on the tin. Interface built on top of Pump.fun that gives you a bird’s eye view of what’s going on and lets you sidestep the straight-up epileptic dashboard.

Remain fluid. Unless you’re a KOL dumping onto your followers, finding a replicable process for shitters is quasi-impossible, but you can stack the cards slightly in your favor. You are using BullX to see emerging trends and baskets of similar coins.

Playing the micro-cap game is all about volume and seeking to add marginal gains wherever you can. And BullX is just that. A unified dashboard giving you a panorama of the shitcoin landscape. What a vista, eh lads!

Dumpy.fun

A new product launched by Save (previously Solend). It does exactly what you’d expect. Allows you to short memecoins to oblivion.

Please note that if you want to short a memecoin, you are better off doing it on a CEX. If the token is not listed on any CEX, take it as a sign from God that you should not be shorting it. This kind of protocol will rip the face off so many gamblers.

Under the hood

Dumpy lets you collateralize SOL, USDC, or USDT. This gets deposited as collateral on Save. It borrows the memecoin you want to short from an isolated pool and sells the token on Jupiter. The idea is to repay this loan with tokens bought at a lower cost basis and pocket the difference.

Admire the idea and it builds in demand for the leading product Save.

People taking the other side of the trade earn Dumpy points for providing liquidity to these pools. Genuinely not worth it, in Pango’s opinion. Single-digit APYs on points. Pure kek.

Barely anyone uses this service. Look at the deposits in the hundreds of bucks or low thousands. The rub is just too much.

No yield provided on deposited memes, only fugazi future token emissions (from Dumpy & Switchboard- Oracle service used for price feeds). Why risk your memecoin stack, which you believe will change your financial destiny, for promises that arrive tomorrow?

Worst case is utilization spikes, and you cannot withdraw, not to mention that if bad debt accrues, the depositors will be eating it. Good way for people to put their money where their mouth is shorting memes, but Pango would not touch this currently.

The Arena

Quasi-identical functionality to Dumpy launched by competitors Marginfi. Just to put it on record, The Arena launched first and had functionality first despite whatever shit-talking Dumpy was doing on the timeline.

Pango thinks that The Arena is a better product. Why? At a high level long-term it has way more legs. While both seek to introduce permissionless listings, The Arena is cleaner:

• The Arena is fully segregated from Margin Lend instead of baked into it.
• It pays out yield and no fugazi points emissions (if you have the chops, the USDC rates for small sizes are scandalous)
• The pool pairings are cleaner: all pools have been created using only USDC
• Nicer and more approachable UX

Please do appreciate what has happened. In introducing the ability to short memecoins, the space has gained something beautiful. The ability to create permissionless isolated lending pools. Any asset can now be collateralized with adjustable parameters.

It puts the framework in the hands of users. Soon any Tom, Dick, or Harry will be able to open leveraged positions on any asset, all powered by permissionless isolated pools.

Pango is not saying this will be good for people, but the opportunity to do so is something he fully stands behind and supports.

We went from “I want to short this dogshit” to “I have the power to create money markets.” Certified hood classic.

You can never tell the outcome of a market whim, and this reason alone is enough to be a perma-bull on advancing speculative use cases for memecoins.

Where is the adoption, lads?

While The Arena trounces Dumpy on liquidity, it is still nothing to write home about. None of these shorting protocols have seen any meaningful adoption.

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To bang this point home. Popcat’s current Open Interest is about $40 million with a 60/40 split long to short. Aka $16 million in shorts currently open.

Compared to The Arena, which has a market size of less than $50,000. Anybody who believes they are smart enough to short a memecoin is not doing it on-chain. Yet(?).

Pre-Product protocols

Devs are cooking. Memecoins make money. This financial incentive has kicked an entire squadron into activity.

Might catch some heat for this one. But memecoins and the trading volume surrounding them are the current leading primitive. Anything with motion gets built on.

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BlonkFi

A money market that will launch on Solana that has already closed a pre-seed round in July (price action is one hell of a drug) and allow people to collateralize memecoins and tap into liquidity.

Genuinely bullish on this use case. It should also open up some zonked stablecoin lending rates.

However you chop it the only way to get value out of a memecoin currently is to dump it.

If users can borrow against them, yeah, yeah, the net result is still the same, but Pango always supports another obfuscation stage. That is what all financial systems are built on.

And allowing newly rich memecoin holders to access liquidity without selling will allow way more ridiculous valuations and upside. Bullish.

BlonkFi has a bunch of ambitious modules outlined in its docs that you can check out. But basically, it is a lending protocol with way more maths. When assets are more volatile money markets must be faster to keep pace.

The Moon Module buys put options, allowing for an 8-hour grace period with no liquidations. It will feature a price floor to help out during severe volatility and most interesting is this segment titled ‘Positive Pirce Action.’

It hints that part of the yield spread (bread and butter for lending markets) will be ‘allocated towards driving positive price action for the underlying memecoins.’

AKA a memecoin lending protocol using revenue to bid memes. Banger.

Capital efficiency upgrade for $5.6 billion in memes on Solana and deeper integration into DeFi. High hopes for this protocol. Alpha from the depths of Telegram says testnet this month.

Remember boys. BlonkFi has done a raise and does not yet have a token. Catching a solid whiff of airdrop potential.

Trenches

Not a lot to say about Trenches. Very recently appeared on the timeline. Looks like it will be a standard forum interface with a buy bot linked. It encourages social trench warfare.

You will be able to shitpost to your heart's content. Now that everyone has figured out the Twitter raiding game, it will be interesting to see how communities try to capitalize on topic-based discussions instead of just shilling an image alongside a ticker.

Bruv, this could be golden. I pray that we get some hardcore Murad wannabes writing essays on why their shitcoin is better than another. Top keks incoming from delusional memecoin traders.

Multiplier

For anyone who remembers getting rinsed on Roobet Crash back in the day, this is for you. Multiplier features perhaps my favorite ever strapline, ‘‘Make bets with microcaps to escape poverty.’’

Turbo bullish on Multiplier and other things of its ilk because it adds a new dimension to speculation. Instead of pure price-based speculation, it introduces game-of-chance speculation on top. Layered gambling, boys.

You are just playing casino games but with memecoins as chips.

How it works

Standard multiplier game:

• Pick token
• Select multiplier
• Wager in ETH or MINT
• Watch graphic of a rocket hurtling through space
• Cry or start planning on how you are going to spend your money

If the game multiplier is larger than your multiplier, you receive the tokens you selected. If smaller, you get rekt but receive MINT for your troubles.

The clever thing is that users can earn MINT for posting content. Aka, users who are capital-poor can convert their time (only valuable resource) into tokens to play. This is marketing and business development done right.

Big drawback is that users are gambling in ETH and getting paid in dirt. But considering ETH’s recent PA, actually bullish. Who wants to hold it anymore? May as well gamble it all away, going to zero anyway, innit. ETH bottom has to be close with comments like this.

Wish this was launching on Solana. Maybe a good time to address this. All of these protocols are Solana-specific. Don’t overcomplicate it. Solana has motion and will remain the shitcoin casino.

Ze Token

If you can get into MINT early, Pango reckons it sends, but being early is key here boys. Look at VISTA PA for proof.

MINT will be exchangeable for ETH at a 1000000:1 ratio and is a whistle and bell to keep people coming back for more. Worth noting that each failed multiplier attempt will generate MINT, and 5% of all new MINT goes to existing holders.

Multiplier should become a fee printer, and because everyone is wagering in ETH (crafty, since you play with a decent asset and get rewarded with dogshit - lowkey genius), the protocol should have enough funds to cover all minting of MINT.

MINT’s primary function is to let the poors play via social farming and keep the gamblers coming back because even when they lose, they walk away with something.  

One sentence bear case: a rebasing token perma-pegged to ETH price; what could go wrong lol.

At this stage, everything depends on what tokens Multiplier decides to list as prizes. Because the project is sending coins to wallets, pray for the elite tier of Solana shitters to be integrated.

Dub Social

Nothing is known about Dub Social except that it promises to make the trenches fun again and has already shown that it has decent chops for driving social engagement on Twitter. Looks to be a blend of SocialFi and shitcoin trading.

SocialFi has got to go somewhere. The seeds have already been planted, it just needs the right mechanics to bring it to life. Bullish on whatever Dub Social churns out, chance it is a banging consumer dapp, and if not, it represents another step in the march of progress towards real PMF.

Friendtech was a banger, whatever people want to say about how Racer nuked it. Viral onboarding, built in wallet, and it introduced the PWA model.

Fantasy Top is another step in the right direction, and somebody will crack the code one day. We are spending more time online; all it takes is a mechanic to successfully engage with this metric and make it fun.

Speculation is a good thing

There is a lot of cool shit being built around memecoins. This fact cannot be disputed.

And the current PA is hinting that people messing around on-chain now are probably going to get rewarded over the next couple of months.

Where is the alpha? Wait for the next Popcat dip and shunt your entire portfolio. Guarantee it outperforms nearly everything as long as you manage to sell the top. No refunds.

Speculation is a beautiful thing. It drags the ideas of tomorrow into the present with today’s capital. How can you not love that shit?

People want to bemoan how crypto is just a casino. But brother, it is an absolutely beautiful one and the most engaging multiplayer money game that has ever existed.

On top of that, the settlement guarantees shitcoin traders get trounce those T+2s that boomers get from their brokers.

Crypto has made gambling more fun than ever, and that is all that matters. If you use any of these dApps the chances of you losing money are higher than you making money. But we all have cooked brains, and unfortunately, if you are reading this, chances are you are hooked on the game.

What people don’t understand is this. It has never been about the prize. It has always been about playing.

Forever bullish on button clicking.